To help me get a better understanding of my target audience, i decided on three methods of investigation:
Day Mapping forms
Questionnaires
Shadowing (where i took a day in the life of a single parent)
First i designed some forms for mothers to quickly input data about what they're doing at different times during the day. I tested this out on a single mother who is long term fostering. It was mostly filled out by her adult daughter who was with her during the first half of the day. This eliminated the problem of it distracting the mothers daily routinge, and her either forgetting or changing her actions because of the survy. I decided not to use dictophones as the mothers i contacted were very uncomfortable with the idea.
I wanted to find out basic information like what time the mother & kids got up, the kids ages, and what they did at various times during the day.
| Mothers name/age: Vena, Over 45 | | Mother wakes up: 7.30 | |
| Childs age(s): Destiny: 3 months (fostered), Roshnee 18, Avi 19 | | Child wakes up: 7.10am | |
| Travelling time (hrs) 30mins + 20 mins + 30 mins | | Mother bedtime: 8.30 | |
| Food preperation time (mins) 90-120 | | Child Bedtime: 7.30 | |
| Shopping time (mins) 10 + travel time (done by daughter) | | Hoursework hours: 2 | |
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| 05:30 | Sleeping | 18:00 | Destiny goes to sleep after her feed |
| 06:00 | Sleeping | 18:30 | Roshnee back from uni, dinner |
| 06:30 | Sleeping | 19:00 | Mum relaxes, tidies up |
| 07:00 | Destiny Wakes Up (7.10). Roshnee feeds her & Plays. Doesnt cry | 19:30 | Cousin comes over for dinner, wakes baby up, who falls right back asleep |
| 07:30 | Vena (Mum) Wakes Up, Sanitises Bottles, Prepares Breakfast. Changes Destiny. | 20:00 | Hoovers front room after visitors leave, takes a wash out and hangs it up |
| 08:00 | Prepares meat for dinner (saves time in the afternoon). Forgot ingredients so Roshnee goes to the corner shop | 20:30 | Mum falls asleep |
| 08:30 | Mum finishes preparing beef for dinner (to save time) & Roshnee packs baby travel bag for destiny | 21:00 | Sleeping |
| 09:00 | Mum bathes Destiny & changes her. | 21:30 | Sleeping |
| 09:30 | Washes some dishes, Showers | 22:00 | Sleeping |
| 10:00 | Goes to meet Social Worker for discussion (20 minute bus ride+Waiting time) | 22:30 | Sleeping |
| 10:30 | Meets Social Worker | 23:00 | Sleeping |
| 11:00 | Goes to parenting lesson (10 min walk there & back) | 23:30 | Sleeping |
| 11:30 | Bus back home | 00:00 | Sleeping |
| 12:00 | Mum feeds destiny and plays with her + puts her down for a nap | 00:30 | Sleeping |
| 12:30 | Mum does lunch (toasted sandwiches) | 01:00 | Sleeping |
| 13:00 | Mum cleans surfaces in the kitchen + finishes washing up | 01:30 | Destiny wakes up, needs changing |
| 13:30 | Puts in new load of laundry + hangs clothes up | 02:00 | Sleeping |
| 14:00 | Still hanging clothes up/ironing. Destiny stirs for a feed. | 02:30 | Sleeping |
| 14:30 | Watches tv & holds Destiny as she falls asleep | 03:00 | Sleeping |
| 15:00 | Vacuums front room, not upstairs: has to wait as it would wake destiny up. Mops floor. Roshnee gets ready for uni | 03:30 | Sleeping |
| 15:30 | Roshnee goes to uni late , Destiny wakes up in a bad mood so Mum has to stop cleaning and settle destiny. Puts her in front of the tv in her play cradle | 04:00 | Sleeping |
| 16:00 | Vaccums upstairs, brings destiny to the kitchen to watch dinner being cooked and to keep her company | 04:30 | Sleeping |
| 16:30 | Puts rice in rice cooker on a timer and washes salad, Meat in oven | 05:00 | Sleeping |
| 17:00 | Changes sheets in house, and mum plays with destiny. Dinner finished | 05:30 | Sleeping |
| 17:30 | Mum eats dinner and feeds Destiny at the same time |
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This chart was written up in an excel spreadsheet. I realised that in the given time, i would only manage to get the sheets filled in a few families as survey response statistics are very low (even with a motivator like a prize entry), (i managed 3 in the end) so i had a look online for single mothers daily routines to back up my research.
Once i had finished the daily routine sheets, i learnt that a large part of a day was taken up in food preparation, and speaking to parents about their sheets i learnt that a big problem was food (cost/variatio/preparation). Household chores as well as childcare had to be done, and they had so much experience that they could be done quickly, expecially with support from various family members, but a large problem was creating a varied, healthy and nutritious menu that was child-friendly.
It was difficult to plan in advance and as a busy mum, they wanted to do a bi-weekly shop rather than lots of small ones as they saved time, but it was easy to forget things and due to fresh food going off fairly quickly, things ran out and they ended up with various foodstuffs that didnt seem to go together. Children had a tendency to be picky, and there were certain things they didnt like, but the mother didnt want to do chips and chicken dippers every day.
I want to ask more questions about menu selction and decided to gear my questionnaire towards food purchasing, meal preparation and
I also had a look at existing 'day in the life of a single mum' articles online as i wanted a varied pool of information to analyse.
http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/A-Day-In-The-Life-Of-A-Single-Mom/402682
Being a mother today I believe is just as challenging and difficult as it was in yester years, the only twist it seems is that as a single mom, we've upped the anti by doing everything ourselves.
There is no man in the house to help us with even the simplest of things like taking the garbage out (which was lovely when I had that luxury). We learn very quickly that we have to pull up our boot straps and get it all done ourselves or it simply doesn't get done at all.
Looking back at my day today, I'm amazed that so much has been done and that so much has been accomplished. Multi-tasking has a whole new definition for me! For me, this is just what a typical day looks like.
The goal for me is to try to put in some down time for 'me'. I don't get a lot of it these days and I know I need to soon or I'll crash. Sadly, I think this is the case for most single mom's out there. So, here's what a typical day looks like for me!
I woke up late this morning (probably from still being sore from playing football with my nephews after Thanksgiving dinner). Took the dog for a walk, get my son up (always fun never a chore) prepared breakfast for the two of us (most days it's a hot meal, today because of time it was just cereal), made my son's lunch, drove him to school, drove to get a well deserved coffee! Back home and start work (I work from home, thank God!).
While being glued to my desk working on my computer, I managed to take short breaks in between and finished off 4 loads of laundry (2 before lunch, 2 after), had lunch (consisting of a bowl of soup within 15 minutes) back to my computer for work until 4:30, then; vacuumed the main floor, prepared dinner, picked up grocery essentials (milk, cheese, bread); picked up my son from school, cooked and ate dinner, help my son with his homework, take the dog for a walk, wash dishes, changed bed sheets, vacuumed my son's room, drove my son to hip-hop class, drove back and took out the garbage and recycling, responded to some emails, listened to voice mails and left messages; picked up my son from dance class; showered; checked emails and responded to remaining emails, bedtime story with my son before he goes off to sleep; take out food in freezer for tomorrow's dinner.
Now it's shortly after 11pm and I'm finally in bed writing this article and looking forward to a good night's rest. No complaints here. If anything, I get a rush from accomplishing so much in one day; but my one question is, if had a man in my life, where the heck would he fit in my life???!!
http://gizabethshyder.blogspot.com/2010/10/day-in-life-of-single-mother.html
5:10 a.m. Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
5:20 a.m. Alarm goes off again. Get up and run.
6:45 a.m. Dressed and ready to wake kids.
7:00 a.m. Prepare breakfast - eggs, cheese toast, waffles - while kids get dressed.
7:30 a.m. Drop kids off at school and head to main hospital.
8:00 a.m. Sip morning coffee and pay bills.
8:45 a.m. Triage first few cases. I should have known it was going to be a day in the trenches when my first three cases were "scrotal mass," "hemorrhoid donut," and "sacral and ischial pressure ulcer." Hemorrhoid donut? I've heard of colon donuts - they are the margins created by the auto anastamosis thingy during surgery - but hemorrhoid donut? Not something I really want to contemplate over my morning coffee.
9:15 a.m. Get text from histo tech at GI site - "I'll have slides ready at 10:00." All 90 blocks. Big day.
9:45 a.m. Head over to GI clinic to sign out cases. Frustratedly troubleshoot computer issues I've been having all week with our drop down diagnosis, web-based sign out which is normally a dream - saves having to dictate - but is causing problems currently. Try not to take out frustrations on the extremely nice and eager new histo tech that I already love. Resolve to surrender to computer and wait until my partner comes back on Monday to help me on the relatively few problem cases.
12:00 p.m. Hit a lull in cases and decide to run to Sears to tackle the tire pressure issue that elicited a warning light I had to look up in my car manual before I walked into work - it's been on all week and I had no idea what it meant.
12:20 p.m. Deliver divorce decree to financial adviser who is splitting my residency retirement $$.
12:45 p.m. Head back to GI clinic and wolf down frozen burger with corn nuts, Planter's chipotle cashews (Yum! Their skinless olive oil and sea salt almonds are also amazing!), and a Coke Zero.
1:00 p.m. Continue GI cases.
3:00 p.m. Run to Barnes & Noble to get a few books in a series Sicily has been begging for.
3:20 p.m. Head back to main hospital to tackle rest of cases there. Learn from partner that he successfully deflected a possible apheresis procedure. I joke with him later in the evening that he jinxed me.
5:00 p.m. Finish cases and start to leave hospital. As I am walking out the door, receive a phone call from a frantic oncologist who warns me of a critically ill transfer that will probably need apheresis. Call hematology and tell them to page me when they get blood work so I can review peripheral smear. Luckily there is a Quinton in place so I don't have to call radiology.
5:15 p.m. Run to house, get Jack's prescription bottle, and call in asthma meds. Rush to pharmacy to pick up asthma meds.
6:00 p.m. Empty dishwasher. Stuff down dinner - microwave nachos with beans and Rotel. Pager goes off halfway through eating.
6:15 p.m. Head back to hospital. Call mom to see if she can meet my kids when their dad drops them off at 7:30 and get them to bed.
6:45 p.m. Shake my head in disbelief as I look at smear. Definitely a procedure tonight. Go to ICU to meet with oncologist, see patient, then back to office to perform calculations necessary for plasma exchange. Call blood bank and dialysis nurse on call. Go back to ICU to complete consult in chart and write orders.
7:45 p.m. Lull. Waiting for blood bank to thaw necessary products for procedure. What to do? Catch up on journals? Nah. Read news. No. Head back to Barnes & Noble to buy mom gift for helping out tonight, knowing I won't be home until late. I really need to buy stock. It's my fourth trip to book stores this week - other two were Wordsworth.
8:30 p.m. Back in blood bank with techs watching dejectedly as some of the FFP busts after thaw (this is common). Jokingly blame tech I have known for many years. Go over to histology to chat with night crew. Call apheresis nurse to ensure that she has completed her dialysis procedure and is getting the apheresis machine ready. Take a picture of blood bank Halloween decorations.
http://dandelionmama.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/a-day-in-the-life-of-this-single-mother/
*updated as the day progresses*
6:46 a.m. It’s unclear if the sound of rain gurgling down the gutters wakes me, or if it’s the cold little feet my daughter under my side as she flops sleepily, arms akimbo, in the pre-dawn light. When I fell asleep to the muted monologue of Letterman, I was alone in my bed, but as happens so often now, I wake with one or several little people pushing on my warmth and needing mama.
7:20 a.m. All three of them are in bed with me now, watching Handy Manny, and I am slowly being shoved towards the peripherara of the bed, as sleepy snuggling gives way gradually, as the room lightens in the gray pallor of the drizzly day. Bean’s ability to tolerate jostling and touch diminishes as his hunger kicks in, and the clock is ticking to get him fed before he tanks.
7:30 In the kitchen, the weather makes me feel like making a nice breakfast, and I whip up a batch of cinnamon crumble muffins and throw them in the oven. I like the sound of rain and the cozy feeling in the kitchen. Abby comes in to offer her “help” but I am distracted as I try and look over my homework while the muffins cook. I had an assignment due yesterday, but I know I have some leeway and if I turn it in by Monday, I should be fine. I shoo her out of the kitchen and start some bacon popping in my cast iron skillet while I think about post-colonial Africa.
7:54 Breakfast is on the table, and I even lit a candle to make it feel cozy and homey. I call the kids. I can hear cartoons and giggle-bickering. I holler louder- breakfast is ready! Still nothing. For some reason, this ticks me off. I have so many other things I could be doing besides fixing a hot, homemade breakfast, and they can’t even come eat? I am in a sour mood now, and when they do come to the table, Bean immediately yelps and runs to hide, because his muffin is in the shape of a heart and not a circle. Dammit, why did I even try?
8:00 Bean is back at the table after I wrangle him out of his squeeze-spot with much honking. They eat their nice home-made breakfast in the kitchen without me. I’m not hungry and I am crying in my room– quietly, because I don’t want them to hear me. I turn on PBS and watch through angry tears as some guy makes dovetail cuts in a beautiful piece of wood with a hand chisel.
8:22 The kids are off playing, and drag myself to the kitchen as start a load of dishes and clean up from breakfast. So much work for only a few fleeting minutes of happiness. Do they care that I do these things? Does it make a difference? Should I just have given them cold cereal? No, I can’t do that. Bean only eats specific things, and I pay for it if he doesn’t get them. We all do, including him. This is another series of questions to which there is no answer, and only time will show the return on investment.
9:00 Bean has requested that I move his therapy hammock from my room into the TV room so he can watch movies in it. It really calms him down when he comes unwound, and I’m game for moving it. Any time he can tell me what he needs with actual words I am grateful and try to do it. Unfastening the hammock from the bracket in my ceiling joist, I realize I have no tools to install a new bracket- X took all the drills and drivers. Digging in the kitchen junk drawer, I find a hammer with part of the claw missing, some screwdrivers, and one mangy crescent wrench. I can make this work.
9:40 After hammering small holes in the ceiling to determined the direction of the joists, I find a good spot and attach the anchors. It’s hard, since I have no drill to make pilot holes, but I use a screwdriver as a lever to get some torque on the eyebolts, and get them seated well with some elbow grease. Standing on one of the kid’s chairs to reach the ceiling, I am still holding a wrench in my hand as I clamp the carabiner, and the wrench slips and smacks me in the mouth. My lip is bleeding, but my teeth seem intact.
10:00 I sit down to crack my textbooks and start on my post-colonial Africa paper. The kids are happily playing in the basement, the dishwasher is finishing the dishes, and it’s cozy and warm at the kitchen table. I get about a page and a half written- it’s a decent start, and I was only interrupted three times by kids’ needs and to wipe a bottom. Bean is very happy and content with his new hammock location, and I am reaping a small reward. The Wii is babysitting so I can get those pages written.
11:00 I realize I’m hungry, and since everyone is still happy and occupied, I think cooking myself something sounds therapeutic and nice. On my counter are some plump late-summer onions brought over by some friends from church– I slice them up and get the caramelizing– still not sure what I’m going to make, but caramelized onions are always a good start. A long time ago, I learned not to toss apple or potato peels down the disposal. It seems the same applies to onion skins. Just as the onion was beginning to sizzle, I turned on the disposal and it erupted all over the kitchen. Reaching behind me I flip off the stove.
11:25 Everything under the kitchen sink is on the floor, and I have unscrewed all the pipes and cleaned them out. There is a pile of towels and a bucket full of nasty water than I decide pouring in the toilet is the best plan. It was a good choice. Briefly I had contemplated calling my HT when I thought I had fixed it the first time and water shot up all over my clothes. I wiped at the hot tears that sprung to my eyes and screwed up my resolve. I can do this. It’s all put back together, and so far no leaks, and the disposal is emptying again. I just have to start a load of towels.
12:00 I sit down to carmelized onions with goat cheese on a gluten-free slice of bread. It’s astoundingly delicious. I can hear Bean has found his trumpet, and this makes me smile. He loves that thing- we had lost it in the move. I found it last night cleaning out a box. I microwave myself a cup of peppermint tea and realize no one has had a bath or shower yet, and I have to get us to the grocery store. Shoving aside the paper I’m working on, I remember the test I have to prep for too. If I play my cards right, I should be able to get to it all. I lag a little, enjoying the warm cup of tea in my hands. It’s still raining, and heading to the grocery store on a Saturday with all three kids is… not my favorite. But it cannot be avoided.
1:27 Still trying to get everyone out the door. All are finally dressed and clean- but it’s like herding cats. I get one shod and coated and near the door, and the one I wasn’t paying attention to bolts. Jeffrey is the only child cooperating, and Abby is weeping because she left her favorite fluffy coat at preschool and the world must stop. Bean will not stop trumpeting his bugle, and Jeff is ready to kill him. I really hope my cloth grocery bags are in the car. One in the car, two headed out the door. Still no progress on homework.
2:31 Well, that was fun. The grocery store with Bean is always a… challenge. All those colors and smells just put him over the edge, so we practically run through with our list and get the heck out of dodge. He ran away from me and hid twice, which isn’t bad. My neck prickles with self-consciousness as I scan the aisles calling for him; older people inevitably look down their noses and over the tops of their glasses at what looks like a naughty child and the terrible mother who clearly cannot control him. I’m used to it, but it still hurts. When I found him the second time, I shoved the food aside and put him in the cart, where he kicked and honked until we were through the check-out. I see a friend’s husband in the store with one of their kids, and I have a moment of envy at their ability to divide and conquer. It’s almost three o’clock and I am no further on my paper, the laundry hasn’t been started, the beds need changing. There is a single-adult dance tonight in our stake, and I had tossed around the notion of going, but honestly, I just don’t see it happening.
2:45 The groceries are all put away and the kids have taken their laundry to the wash room, so there’s that. On the couch, the boys snuggle in brief brotherly harmony as they peer intently at the screen of Jeffrey’s gameboy. I can hear Abby singing “Yo Gabba GABBA!” to herself as she spins in the computer chair in the basement. Whirrrrrr…. whirrrrrr…. And I have to go coax her to move so I can actually get started on some homework now.
5:02 Got a solid hour and a half of studying in while Abby spun herself on the desk chair next to me and occasionally asked to loosen a Lego for some big, delicate thing she was intently building. Bean hung out in his hammock, swinging contentedly and playing Harry Potter on Wii with Jeffrey. I was able to log into my University website and watch a lecture I missed earlier this week (loooove professors who record their lectures!), and then scored 96% on the 50 question quiz that followed. My tea is tepid on the desk here next to me, but that’s okay- it’s time to go cook dinner. I have no idea what I’m making, and the laundry is still forlorn and undone.
5:35 Dinner is served. All comply. At this point, there is no way anyone is reading this insane document, so I’ll just say we had frog eyes and Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans- in the flavors of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. And an English muffin with pb for Bean, of course.
6:15 Kitchen is cleaned, dishes are going and the kids are getting their jammies on. I have bribed them and promised TWO chapters from Harry Potter and Sorcerers Stone if they are compliant and obedient children. Reading to them every night is one part crazy-making stuff, and two parts sweet, sweet goodness.
7:24 Abby is in bed, because she couldn’t keep her feet off her brothers, and she is happily singing primary songs to herself. The boys are in their beds with flashlights reading Calvin & Hobbes. Yes, it’s early, but with 9 a.m. church, they’ve got to be in bed by 8, otherwise morning is horrible. Also, my sanity is at stake. By this hour, I’m done. Maybe now I can get some laundry started… I still have three essays to write before tomorrow night on post-colonial Africa. What I really want to is to curl up with a book I want to read and escape for a while. So much for the stake dance.
8:16 The doorbell rings, and it’s Jeffrey’s Sunday School teacher, who also happens to be the nicest man on earth. He’s brought us a pizza, as he does almost every weekend, from his pizza restaurant. The kids will be bummed they missed him- he’s always a popular sight on our doorstep. All three kids are asleep already. Hallelujah.
8:32 Pizza is cooling on the counter. Time for some real homework. Forget social life, forget dating. Where on earth would I fit anything else in? Looking back over this day, most of what I do many other mothers do as well. Maybe not the full-time school, but the other stuff. The part that sticks out and makes my heart throb is not having anyone to share the joys and triumphs with- I am alone with all three of my children almost all the time. And while I love and adore them, they are arrows that I am prepping to shoot into the skies of their own lives. Here, where I am, I stand alone. Having someone to bounce ideas off, to help when I am tired, to pass a kid to when I’m at my wits end- these are the hardest moments.
From looking at these maps of average days, i can see that time consuming tasks are things like housework, food and the problem of making time for yourself. I am going to focus on food as i find it quite interesting and reducing the time would increase the amount of 'me time' that single mums have.
